


Shiroyasha: A Glimpse of the Past

by PandoraButler



Category: Gintama
Genre: Don't Ask Questions, Feelz, I wrote this a long time ago and just published it now, RIP strawberry milk, when was this even written?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 23:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13177074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: Gintoki gets hit by a car and relives a distant memory.





	Shiroyasha: A Glimpse of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I came up with a long time ago. I'm not even sure it makes any sense. Good luck trying to read it.

Gintoki was on his own. He'd planned to get strawberry milk and then go right back to Shinpachi and Kagura. That was it. It should've been a simple little event, but it was taking forever. Today was just not his day. He'd gone to the nearest convenience store, only to have it be closed. So he had to walk like an extra two miles to the next one. Then, when he went to pay, he didn't have enough money. Luckily, the cashier was willing to cover for him. Thank you, cashier, you saved his life. 

He stepped outside of the store to see the sky dark with clouds. It's going to rain now, isn't it? He better get back quickly since he doesn't have an umbrella. Sigh. Why did it have to be today? Of all days? It wasn't right. Now he had to run back to the Yorozuya. The rain wasn't waiting for him. It began to drizzle, then pour, and he would be soaked to the bone by the time he reached the apartment. He wasn't fast enough. Story of his life. When had he ever made it to a place on time?

Now, here he was, soaked in water, not even bothering to run anymore. He just walked. One foot in front of the other. What was the point in trying to avoid it? He was already wet. He'd only get more wet. So what? 

A car approached the samurai. He couldn't hear it due to the harsh winds and the rain. The vehicle was approaching too quickly to notice Gintoki too. And Gintoki was too deaf to notice the car. It slammed right into him, noticing him at the last minute. Gintoki fell to the ground and his consciousness slowly left him. His ears were ringing and his vision blurred. He couldn't hear the loud noises around him. Would he die? Like this? Did he not even deserve an honorable death? This was bringing back a memory...a distant memory...when was that again? Wasn't it raining then too? He couldn't remember completely, but he could feel his spirit being lifted to that time. 

...

_It was dark and cold. Gintoki was caring for his dying mother in a makeshift shelter he had built to protect them from the rain. His good-for-nothing father left them to fend for themselves. He wasn't even that old and he already had to become a man._

_"Your fever is rising, Okaasan. You have to hang in there, okay? Don't go leaving me off by myself! You promised..." the young version of Gintoki pleaded with his mother. If she could, she would have stayed alive; however, her poor health was only getting worse. There wasn't much more he could do to help her. If he could, he would have already done it._

_His mother looked up at him. He didn't deserve this kind of life. If only she had gotten with some good, respectable, gentleman. Maybe things would have turned out differently then. She lifted her hand up and touched the young male's face before speaking,_ _"I don't think I'll be able to keep my promise."_

_"No! No...Okaasan!...You can't give up now!" the young Gintoki grabbed his mother's hand and held it in his own, squeezing it lightly._

_"I'm sorry, Gin-chan," the mother closed her eyes and her breathing faded. Gintoki was left behind by the only person he had in his life. The rain fell on the top of the shelter as he cried. This couldn't be happening! This just wasn't fair! He'd never met his father and now his mother was dead!_

_Silent tears fell from Gintoki's face. Even though no one would hear him cry in the middle of nowhere, he still didn't want to make a fuss. One by one, a tear fell. He tried to hold it back but it just wouldn't happen. He had to cry. That's just the way it would turn out._

_"What am I going to do now?" he questioned. "There is nothing left for me in this world..."_

_~....~....~_

_A couple of years had passed since his mother died. He was now a rogue child. Everything he did was just to survive another day. Time after time he wondered why he even tried to live. Maybe it would be better if he just starved to death or jumped off a cliff. That way he would reunite with his mother before it was too late._

_Before he strayed from the innocent ways of a child. Before he became 'Shiroyasha'._

_As the days went on, he learned to fight, no, he learned to kill. He killed animals, people, insects, anything to help him last another day. He didn't want to kill people, but, sometimes, they would yell at him for no reason and start fighting. In order to protect himself, he always fought back. And, he always won. He wasn't always this way, no, he started out weak. But, after countless times of being kicked to the ground; after countless times of being beat up and sent away with nothing; he became strong. He became strong enough to defend himself from these evil men. He grew up in the wilderness with no concept of right or wrong. Gintoki only knew how to kill; how to survive. He only knew death. He only knew the cycle of life. Things kill to live; things die when they are weak; if you die then you were too weak._

_"I must be strong," he told himself._

_"I don't want to lose anything precious to me ever again."_

_"I must be strong."_

_"I will be the strongest there is."_

_Gintoki picked up a katana for the first time and swung it around without knowing how to use it properly. It was on the body of the last person he'd killed_ _, (all for the sake of food)._ _They used it, but to Gintoki, it seemed like they didn't know how to use it either._

_He practiced for a while, just swinging randomly, and finally found a way that suited him._ _"I should be okay now, right?" Looking up at the sky little Gintoki smiled. "Okaasan...I really miss you. But, I should be okay now, right?"_

_~....~....~_

_Although Gintoki didn't kill these people, he'd found a field of corpses._ _Gintoki looked around in the pile of dead bodies, searching, for something, anything, anything at all that would satisfy his hunger. When he found nothing, he wondered if he should eat the bodies themselves. Being a cannibal couldn't be that bad, right?_

_The small silver-haired boy found a piece of bread. It wasn't much but it was better than nothing. He sat down on one of the bodies hugging his katana with one arm and eating the bread with the other. Gintoki then heard the soft pounding of footsteps behind him. There was no killing intent so he didn't bother to turn his head to look at their face. If he was lucky they might just leave him alone._

_The voice spoke, something about the 'proper way to use a sword' or something like that. Gintoki wasn't paying attention. This stranger didn't matter to him._ _Little did he know, that same man would change his life._

_The stranger threw his sword at the boy, making him drop the one that he was already holding to catch it. Gintoki turned to look at the man. He was smiling...and had an appearance similar to that of present-day Zura. He offered to teach Gintoki how to use the katana. Gintoki didn't refuse, why would he? He had nothing better to do with his life, so he decided to follow the guy._

_"He can't be all that bad..." Gintoki muttered to himself while being carried by the mysterious male._

_~....~....~_

_The sky was dark. Gintoki was standing on a cliff. He was older now. He'd followed Shouyou and was taught the ways of the samurai. He fought in the war between Earth and Amanto. He became known as the 'Shiroyasha' because of his hair color and devilish skills with the blade._ _He had comrades now. Friends. Allies. And a teacher better than all others._

_But not for long._

_His friends were tied up._

_He had to make a choice between t_ _he teacher who had saved his life or his friends who had their lives saved as well._

_Gintoki looked into the face of his teacher. He already knew what he had to do. He already knew, from the moment he stepped on this cliff-side, what he would do._

_Rain fell again._

_"This cursed rain. It won't let up. It's been pouring down on my life forever," Gintoki said._ _"I don't want to kill you, Shouyou-sensei, how can you force this decision on me? You changed my life; I don't want to kill you."_

_The teacher just smiled. He'd heard what Gintoki had to say, but the decision was entirely in his hands. The teacher would be proud of his student no matter what choice he made. However, he couldn't deny the fact that he would rather it be him over his students._

_"I trust you to make the right choice, Gintoki," the teacher began, "I know you can."_

_"Sensei..." tears fell down the sides of Gintoki's face. The rain hid his emotional turmoil. The sounds of Takasugi and Katsura's yells were dulled by the drops of rain falling next to Gintoki's ears._

_"You have to choose, Shiroyasha. Your friends or your beloved Sensei," the harsh words were thrown at Gintoki. They felt like daggers in his chest._

_"I'm going to have to kill you, Sensei," Gintoki said. His emotions were only expressed through the blade that sliced the neck of his master._

_In his last few moments, Shouyou smiled at Gintoki, and mouthed, "Thank you."_

_"Once again, I couldn't protect someone I cared about, Okaasan. I'm a worthless child and student," Gintoki muttered as he fell to the ground and sobbed._

_..._

_"_ Gin~san! _"_ Gintoki heard a voice say. He opened his eyes to see Kagura staring down at him.

"W-what happened?" the silver-haired samurai asked. "I feel like I was hit by a car."

Nervous laughter came from beside him. Gintoki turned to look at Hijikata and Okita. "Dana, Hijikata-san hit you with a car," Okita explained while Hijikata laughed nervously, (again).

"You're lucky I didn't die!" Gintoki snapped.

"Who would miss an idiot like you?!" Hijikata said.

"Haah? What was that?! Say that to my face you mayonnaise lover!" Gintoki took a step closer to Hijikata and they were nose to nose.

"Now  _Kiss_ ~" Kagura said in the background.

"Huh?" the two said in unison. They both turned to look at Kagura, who just ran away. "Oi! Come back! You take that back!" the two males, once again, said at the same time and ran, in sync, after the Yato girl.

"Wait! Don't run off without me!" Shinpachi said.

"Now is the perfect time to kill Hijikata-san, when he isn't paying attention," Okita said pulling a weapon out of thin air and aiming it at the demon vice chief of the Shinsengumi.

" _What was I so worried about with the rain? It's always so bright and cheerful now._ _I don't need to protect anything anymore. Because, I can make them strong enough to protect themselves. That's what you were trying to do, right? Sensei?"_ Gintoki thought, while pushing the memories of his past into the back of his mind.


End file.
